you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
