Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
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