that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Randomize
