It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
