Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
