either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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