he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
