I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
