that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
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That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
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I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
tell me about the eggs
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