the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize
