white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Randomize
