I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
