He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
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