I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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