I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Use "feeling words"
Yay
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
