Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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