Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
the liver wants what the liver wants
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
