hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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