i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
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I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
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We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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