he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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