Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
