I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
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