eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
