Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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