found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
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