There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
