Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Randomize
