he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Everclear isn't food dammit
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
