You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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