In America we eat man semen.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
