You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
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