Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
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