OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
