Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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