I'm sorry my penis didn't work
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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