you would pick up someone in the library
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Randomize
