You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
