Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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