Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
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