Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
