windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
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