Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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