Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Randomize
