We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
my vag is so smooth its legendary
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Randomize
