i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
