I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
