Small penises have feelings too.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I'm passing your future prison.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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