well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
