you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Cover your peen. We're going out.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
