K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Randomize
