So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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