he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
