How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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