omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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