i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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