why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
she smelled like a LAN party
she told me i tasted like america
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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