He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
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