He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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