Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Randomize
