yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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