Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
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