I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Holy sore nipples Batman
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Randomize
